resident evil 4 is real. my friends and i are in an opening scene (not real) prior to the one in-game, which is set in a spanish city. we are shopping in the midst of a large crowd in a pedestrianised section of the town, waiting for the actual game to start. a bell tolls slowly. all the shoppers turn to face the same direction and head towards a large church that's just appeared at the end of the road. they are carrying banners and ceremonial masks. the rest of us hang back to figure out what we should try to do. we pull out guns from our boutique bags and head inside. there are mirrored doors everywhere, but none of us are scared and we bolt through the house, knocking heads from zombies as though they're only attached by blu-tak. the closer we get to the top the more suspense we feel, and the enormous climax comes at the peak of a very narrow staircase. unfotunately i can't remember what it was.