Wednesday, December 21, 2005

the village my parents live in, topsham, was discovered to have been founded in 1515 which, it turns out, was only 200 years ago. as soon as the pub on the high street discovered this, it changed its name to Spectoral Will Bullion and painted its signs grey. then we find out that topsham was founded on the site of ancient bermuda, and is actually far out at sea, and not in south devon at all. because of this, the americans decide to bomb us, and everything in topsham - from the Bon Bon sweetshop to the Lighter Inn and bus stop - is destroyed. the flames tear through our houses, and our parents' houses, but we're all like "hey, we're in bermuda - cool"