everything started with the letter A

it started with a kid showing me a green and blue wax crayon drawing it had done, thinking i was its mother. i forget the middle bit, so i'll skip to the end: i killed a man with one shot to the chest, and i don't think that self-defence was my reasoning. a group of us were arrested, but i was going to get put on trial for murder. i escaped from jail with some guy, but then the police told my friends that they'd all get tried for murder if i wasn't there. so i went back and told the police to take me in so my friend could go. i was somewhere like texas, and i knew that i was guilty, and that they were going to execute me.

the trial was the very next day, in the T-station, and i was leant forward over the witness box like a kid and i made a terrible impression on the judge, who realised i was a stammering, nervous, idiotic wreck who was clearly guilty of first degree murder.

i went back to my cell, in the pub, and everyone had figured out that they weren't on death row any more and they were all glad, but unhappy for me. i had to await my sentencing, which would happen the next day, and i went to sleep knowing i would be killed in the morning.

then the next day i went back before the judge and she smiled and laughed at me - "you didn't really think you'd be put to death did you? you've got blonde hair, and you're a girl, and you're white! we'll never put you to death!" i smile and sit down in the T-station and start to cry.

zombies. coming into the house. two girls. they seem quite nice. they just want somewhere to sleep. but i know that really they just want to eat our flesh. why doesn't anyone else realise? they are confused by the zombies' kindness. so i repeatedly punch the one with blonde hair in the face to kill her, fogetting that of course you can't kill a zombie just by punching it in the face - i end up tying a towel around her head and punching her through that as i don't like her looking at me. but my arm is weak and in the end a boy has to finish her off for me. i forget what happened to the other one.

*wake up - go to bathroom - have glass of water*

it's an alternative ending to 28 days later and i'm being played by meryl streep. all the rage-infected people are dead, and we go to Christopher Eccleston's manor house to celebrate. there are lots of people in wheelchairs and i'm relieved when no one asks me to wear a special dress. i see blood on the floor though and i know that the rage-infected people are coming. we get back on the bus. we drive out through greece and someone cuts us up and suddenly we're out of the set and the film's over.

the kid from donnie darko (watched pleasantville last night) is nailing me and mary to crosses and i'm calling 911 screaming into the phone as he grabs my ankle, drags me accross the shiny kitchen floor and hammers a nail right through the bones into the wood. somehow we talk him down and he rips the nails out and lets us off. so then i turn back time and he doesn't hurt us and everything's fixed.

then we're in a big house somewhere but i'm not sure where and i can't remember anything. something about wolves, perhaps, or a big dog?

(by the way, mary is a character from this long poem i've been working on for the past 6 months or so that i finished yesterday. i didn't really know what she would look like, but she was in my dream with me. that makes me happy. although the fact that we were both being crucified is somewhat disturbing, for a variety of different reasons.)

meeting john in a coffeeshop but it's raining and he arrives via the back and i see him through the window shake himself like a dog to get the water off his back.

what the fuck were we talking about?

can't remember how i ditched my parents but there were these lions roaming loose around the hotel complex. i had a towel round my waist and faced the wall of the building. it sort of ignored me but i knew it was just waiting for me to move before it pounced. i made a run for the big glass doors of the hotel and managed to get inside and the lion slammed into the door. i called the two security guards who were cretins from east anglia and they somehow managed to let the lion into the hotel. it ran straight into two tourists and ate their golden labrador. some old guy, jane horrocks and i scramble and manage to get into this glass lift, but then i fall out of it halfway up the building and have to cling on til we get to the top floor - it wasn't glass it was no just walls. we don't know which floor the lion is on now and i realise a lift is a really stupid idea because if the doors open and the lion's right there, we won't be able to shut the doors in time before it pounces.

the cow in the cage was tremendously important and symbolic for some reason. we were all trying to get it out. john was getting in a fight with these japanese kids who were throwing basketballs at his face. other people were in the house. we're on Mass Ave in a different dimension and my boss pops up to say "the promises of a million children, sold to another world" before vanishing.

very strange things

what do you get if you cross akira with eastenders? a lot of japanese people on motorbikes with cockney accents getting killed. and ooh the baby with the big head. then i dreamt that boston was actually in aberdeenshire, and so it wasn't really very far away at all...

end of the world - nazis coming onto the island. mum dad and i rush to set the dynamite in the cake shop. we get it in but i think we're going to die anyway.

scott took me swimming around a fictional island where there was a beautiful sunken temple that magnetically attracts fish. i said i wanted to scuba dive so we were going to buy then i had to meet my dad in a basement bar. the water in the sea was so warm and clear, and the sand was perfect white.

okay here it is, from the other night:

flight in plane bus over city of boston just hang on - all the boats on the water it's in the summer - then go over an invisible rollercoaster, tracing it from above. i have really bad vertigo. we get dropped onto other side. i can't go back up. i find a staircase. "i'll be fine, but i don't know where we're staying or how to get there" then superman is there. he walks down the stairs (but with yellow boots, not red) and he picks me up. i put my arms up around his neck and give him a kiss on the cheek. "i thought it was about time" he says and i realise that i'm clark kent.

so he flies me to this carpark, drops me off, in the middle of a massive fight. everyone has baseball bats - people of all ages. everyone eventually pauses, scared. i say "here's what you do, you go around twatting everything until you don't feel like hitting anymore." and they all stop. then for some reason we watch a biology class of girls watching guinea pigs mating in a model city. i wake up just as one of the guinea pigs jumps onto my face.

dammit i forgot to bring my notebook to work.

last night all i remember is being sarcastic at the girls i work with when one of them said "why would you be hungover?", but on SATURDAY night i had a dream about SUPERMAN! he came and flew me away and i kissed him on the cheek. it was WONDERFUL. more of that when i get home and find my notebook.

dammit.

i went to the cinema by myself to watch wizard of oz - different edit. lots of people there with their families. interval - all leave. not wanting to be alone i go smoke a cigarette and sunbathe. when i get back i've lost my trousers. can't go back in. then suddenly i'm trying to get into my grandmother's house with no trousers and there's a woman called jane who says she's a new member of our family.

at my grandparents' house with alec and beccy watching a johnny depp film. we've all seen it before. "would anyone like to go, to the pub?" alec asks tentatively. i shoot him an evil look - we're about to eat, and i know my mum and my grandmother have been cooking, and it would be very rude of us to leave now. but i kinda want to go to the pub. but, as beccy and i don't respond, we just sit and watch johnny depp running through telephone boxes. "johnny depp can run through ANYthing"

neighbours something looking with me at all these little green frogs, all with arms by sides, legs pointed, as though they'd been gun-shot, heads stabled into a wooden plank. there were 25 - 30 of them.

then i'm inside on the phone to dom when this penguin chick flies into the garden outside. flies. and it lands neatly and i'm like "i didn't know penguins could fly" then he takes off by springing up really high - maybe 10 feet, with real momentum like he's just going to rocket up into the air, but then just falls straight back down again and lands really heavily on his feet. it really hurts him. he falls over and rolls around on the ground hugging his feet with his flippers in agony. "i guess they can't."

mary b driving me backwards up to this house, at top speed, where i lived in another dream one time. we go in and she's turned into a boy. i regret not having walked around this dream garden more often, so we walk around it now. pink flowers everywhere - so beautiful. there are lots of wild animals, strange looking blue birds. i try to touch one and a loud voice booming out over speakers says "you have five minutes remaining."

on holiday in japan get followed home by odd japanese boy with red hair and foot-long fingernails. i walk away even though he likes me.

war is coming and those of us who didn't get out fast enough get put into a japanese POW camp. i think about the certain people i know who certainly saw this coming and who got away in time. not me, though.

as i realise the end is coming i go back to find this japanese boy who has changed, but it is still him. a mutual friend of ours arranges it and i go help this boy push a ladder-shelf into the wall. he stares at me. we go back to my block. he brings the girl he is sleeping with. luckily i don't think anyone else notices how foolish i am, so he then leaves with her with little embarassment on my part.

war is here and they drop the bombs. three little nuclear bombs right in the POW camp. we have no idea if this is the japanese revenge or if it is the americans missing again. they go off right behind us, but we can almost outrun them. we try to dive behind furniture to hide, and i find the door to a bedroom in my parents' old house to hide behind.

after it's over, i'm shaken by the sound of pebbles being thrown at our bathroom window. it's julie andrews looking for her boyfriend. he's from coronation street. i point her in the right direction.

i go to look for the survivors. everything is in ruins. i am so glad to see the faces i recognise. but i don't see jane and kieron. they went somewhere to die together and i don't see them anywhere. jim ran just before the bombs hit, and i don't know if he was running away, or running into the actual blast. i don't see him anywhere either.

i look for them in this other house, a northern house, where miss.popoff is nagging her husband about the mess of the ruined house. "well, we have just had a fooking nuclear war, pet..." he says. everyone laughs.

some of us find our way up north. we think it must be morecambe bay. "clear white sand" people are saying as they go outside, but i can't leave the house, so i just stay indoors.

showing me around her house and the fountain stopped working. this was a very long dream and, disappointingly, all i can rememeber really is that the fountain stopped working but my mum would have liked it. if i remember any more i'll update later...